Public Speaking

Held a speech today at Toastmasters. I have been a member for the past year and it has been a great experience. I feel so much more confident speaking in front of an audience. Most clubs meet weekly. Once you join, you will follow a manual. Mine is called ‘Competent Communicator’. It has 10 projects. Each project has a different focus. One might be about speech organization, another on about using visual aides. You can chose the topic yourself. My speech today was project number 9: Persuade your audience’ and my topic was: Alive with work. The speech went well. Mostly I am criticized for not showing enough emotions. That seems weird to me, since I feel that I am very emotional. But I guess that feeling that you are showing your emotions is not the same as showing your emotions. One more reason for me to go: to become aware of my blind spots.

Are you interested in finding out about your blind spots?

Coaching at Craigslist Foundation Bootcamp

This Saturday I was one of the lucky CTI coaches that got to coach visitors at the Craigslist Foundation Boot camp in Berkeley. I coached 4 clients, 30 minutes each. I had a great time coaching and seeing the transformation take place in some cases, in others I hope a seed got sowed to move the clients in the direction they want to. I feel grateful to CTU, the Craigslist Foundation and the clients to make this possible, to show up and to give coaching a try.

I asked 2 clients if they would be willing to start a blog and one of them already sent me her link! That is one gratifying aspect of coaching - clients taking action.

Friday the 13th...

Today is Friday the 13^th. Some people will feel it’s their lucky day, others will be living in fear and anticipation. I will declare this day as the "day the fog disappeared".

I live in the foggiest area in San Francisco and it seems like forever since I’ve seen the sun.

Weather does impact me for sure. I feel like staying in and don’t want to go on my walks, even though I know that they are great for me. Not only physically, but also mentally. Another aspect that determines how my day goes: weather.

My day is also determined by the kind of emails I get, how many and from whom. And what’s going on on Facebook.

Lot’s of outside factors determine what I do, IF I do and when I do. And of course how I feel. I am sure there is more. I don’t want to go looking for more. At work it’s the same. Your day is determined by meetings, the way people treat you, deadlines and what day of the week it is.

What other factors impact your work? What will you declare today, independent of the circumstance?

Sticking it to the man

2 stories broke within the last 48 hours and both of them went ‘viral’, The first story was about the flight attendant Mr. Slater of JET BLUE who first cursed out the passengers over the intercom and then slid down the emergency chute with beer bottle in hand. The second one, which turned out to be a hoax, was about Jenny who quit her job via dry erase board.

Both stories resonated with the majority of people and Mr. Slater and Jenny are celebrated as people who did what most of us want to do. For me the stories are about justice and getting back to people that treat you unjustly. On a bigger scale though the stories are about being authentic and true to yourself. To no longer pretend that things are OK, even if they aren’t. 

Nasty words and what they do

I am thinking about the word 'should'. Does this word exist in a child's mind? Yes, of course the adults tell the child what it should do - but does it exist in the mind of the child? Like: I should clean my room, I should eat healthier, I shouldn't watch that much TV - you get it.... and honestly, I don't think it does. That's why kids do what they want to do and why they are mostly in a great mood.

The trouble I have with should is, that it robs my energy and it makes me stubborn. It makes me not want to do, what I should do. And I also realize that this word is like an automated script running in my head.

But wait a minute, I think I just figured out what to do: combine the word with something great...I think that'll work: Today I resolve that I should have fun, I should be relaxed and happy. And I should live this day like it's the best day ever. And you should do the same :)

Getting naked

Imagine a corporate environment where losing business is OK, as long as trust and loyalty are not compromised.
Where being vulnerable is encouraged, as long as you share your ideas and opinions.
Where building relationships is more important than the bottom-line.

If you like these ideas, you will love the book 'Getting Naked' by Patrick Lencioni.

This book almost made me want to work as a consultant again. It's a business fable and a quick read (I finished in 3 hours). Invest some time to dream about a better corporate America!

The most beautiful song in the world

On May 17^th 2010 @ 7:49 AM PST the estimated world population is 6.821.515.851. I honestly don’t even know how to say this number. And I won’t even try.

The following belief has everything to do, why I gave up a 300k/year (miserable) career and became a coach (uncertainty and all): Each of those 6.821.516.333 individuals is exactly that: an individual.

We are all unique.    

And in our uniqueness, we are often lost and confused. We try to fit in, impress, ‘do the right thing’, ‘do the cool thing’, and so on – without taking one fact into consideration: there is only one instrument on the planet that can produce the most beautiful music with the uniqueness you got: and that is YOU.

You are aware of this music. When you are happy, fulfilled, in the NOW, you know how it sounds. It’s the most harmonic and beautiful thing you’ve felt. And people around you get it as well: you beam, you convince, you are in flow (as Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (another term I won’t attempt to pronounce) describes in his book FLOW).

My ‘job’ is it, to get you aware of this music, help you find it and finally play it more often.

What world would we be in, if all of the 6.821.517.455 had the chance to work with a coach?

 http://www.ted.com/talks/kaki_king_rocks_out_to_pink_noise.html

Fish rool

During my recent visit to the Monterey Bay Aquarium - which is awesome, by the way - I encountered a roller coaster of emotions. I  enjoy Monterey. The nature there is stunning and so is the aquarium. I am in love with the mackerels, the jelly fish and the giant squid. Way too many things to mention. Looking at the exhibits made me aware of the incredible depth of all creations.




 Who came up with a jelly fish? How can such a creature live? In total awe and appreciation I walked into the flamingo exhibit. And there it was: the first big dip. I did not see it coming.  


All the way from the top - way way down. 

So many people just ignored the sign to not use a flash. It said, that it might hurt the birds. There were signs EVERYWHERE. You could not not see them. I couldn't stop myself and asked a couple of people to turn their flash off - but there were too many. I am saddened about the ignorance of people. It's more important to bring a trophy picture home than to show some consideration? People kill me sometimes. And as I walked pissed and angry into the next exhibit (about environmental education), I saw this big board that was full of hand written notes by  children.
I read all of them and was in love with life all over. Back to the top... Kids are awesome! I had my positive outlook back. 


And all was good again. Yin and Yang. Up and down. Sometimes I hate roller coasters...

Making things wrong

Yesterday I called a good friend to ask for help: I had been going back and forth all day, between my head and my ‘being’. My head said: “you need to clean, you need to buy food, you need to work out”.  My being said: “everything is OK. It is clean, there is food, you can do what you choose".

For  the record: my place is always pretty clean, I rarely run out of food and I am in fairly good shape.

Let’s call my head the ‘machine’. So I called Peter up, saying: My machine is running me. I don’t want to be run by it. It drives me crazy….

Now, Peter is about 20 years younger than I am and he is a coach as well. He also understands the ‘machine’ talk and his remark to me was simple: “sounds like you are making your machine wrong. This creates a new layer of suffering”.

WHAM!

Peter remarks are so profound that I almost see a flash in the sky when he makes them.

He gave me the gift of understanding that making myself wrong creates suffering. Making a situation wrong creates suffering. Making people wrong creates suffering. I knew that and I had heard if before. But now I GET it.

It is what it is.  You can’t change it, BE with it. And then decide, what you want to do with it. Clean or not clean the house. Don’t suffer and don’t make it wrong.

Thank you Peter!

The importance of INTENTION

Do you create To-Do lists on a regular basis?

TO DO Lists are great. They are a reminder of things we need  --- TO DO.

Do you enjoy making the list?   Maybe

DO you always follow up?? Mostly 

DO YOU LOOK FORWARD TO DO THE THINGS ON THE TO DO LIST???   NO!?

OK, so Let’s forget the DOING part for a moment and focus on the BEING.

I believe that it all starts with the INTENTION before you start the DOING..

Merriam Webster’s 1st definition of intention is: A DETERMINATION TO ACT IN A CERTAIN WAY.

Now, why would this be important? IT IS important, because it addresses on how you want to feel while you ACT. It is clear, that you will act, but Intention determines in which WAY you want to ACT.

To make this point clear,  I will show you an example of my TO DO list for today (this is only an excerpt):

·      Pay bills

·      Clean bathroom

·      Call Mom

How much fun is this list?

Well, it depends I guess. But let’s just assume that it’s not TOO MUCH fun for most people. And in the past it wasn’t too much for for me either.

Who likes to pay bills? Clean? Or HAVE TO call someone.

Will it make a difference, if I put a certain intention or ‘a determination to act in a certain way’ behind or before each of those TO DO’s?

ABSOLUTELY.

To demonstrate it, I am sharing intentions I have:

Paying bills:

I intend to do this efficiently, fast, and thorough. But I also want to feel a certain way: GRATEFUL.  Grateful for the service that is provided to me. In this case, water and electricity before I even pay. You guessed it, it’s my PG&E bill!

Cleaning the bathroom:

How do I want to feel: present. And I want to have fun.

FUN doing this, so I will maybe put on some great music and make it my workout.

Call my Mom:

I intend to be present and flexible. I want to be a great listener and communicator. I also don’t want to be hurried. I will stay open.

Do you notice, how the energy suddenly shifts?

I am giving my TO DO’s a deeper purpose.

I don’t just want to GET THEM DONE, but acknowledge that every action I take can have a meaning. And I am the one to attach the meaning to in.

Suddenly my TO DO list turns into something that I look forward to.

Just by intending on how I want to feel and how I want to execute my actions.

This list is only one little example where Intention can make a big difference. The possibilities are endless.

I encourage you to try this out today.

Take little intention breaks before each activity you do:

Eating – intent to be nourished and satisfied.

When you drive, intent to be relaxed and focused. Arrive refreshed at your destination.

When you talk, intend to be present, connected and open.

Or make up your own intentions.

It is fun and it DOES make a difference!